THE Sublime to the Ridiculous

On the Internet yesterday I came across a picture from the 1950s of west Dearborn, Michigan. In the background of the photo was the old Calvin theater. That was a fun place to watch movies. But it was more for the patrons than the matinee. I suspect that many Calvin theatergoers were regulars, but anyone could get into the act. Samples of what played out at the old movie house are abundant in my memory. Once an usher came into the main body of the theater and announced (remember this was well before cell phones) "Phone call for Michael Brady! Phone call for Michael Brady!" About one third of the audience rose and started towards the lobby. That poor usher. Another time he called out, "Phone call for Cloyce! Phone call for Cloyce!" From all over the place came many voices. "Cloyce! Phone!" "Better get the phone Cloyce!" "Yo! Cloyce! Phone!" "Cloyce! Yer interruptin' the movie!" In exasperation the usher finally responded, ...

A couple of plumbers came into the old barn yesterday to pick up a repair one of them had left. I knew that guy of course, but I hadn't met the second fella. The one picking up the repair turned to his buddy and said about me, "This is the man you want to bring your machines to fix. He's the mad scientist of drain snakes!" I think it was a compliment. I replied simply, "You got the mad part right anyway." Yet the thought of the mad scientist of drain snakes conjures (a mad scientist ought to conjure, right?) up old B movie cliches. A machine is secured to my workbench. One last wire is carefully and lovingly attached. A thunderstorm is rolling in, lightning flashes jumping outside the Shop windows. "Power! I must have power!" I scream maniacally. "Yes, Master!" a heretofore unseen hunchback cries from a darkened corner of the old barn. He begins turning a crank, lifting mad scientist Marty and his drain snake monster, a macabre and pathet...

Me Grandpa Joe, he liked to travel. He liked to get out on the open road to see where it would take him. Me Grandma Cosgriff, not so much. A lot of that I'm sure had to do with Joe's driving. And the cheap hotels he'd stay in. And the quality of cars he'd drive. Ok, I suppose there were myriad and varied reasons why she would let him go off on his own. She was quite content to stay home when the wanderlust bug bit Joe. Joe would of course call home regularly to let her know where he was and that things were okay, even if it was only Joe okay. Early one morning, one very early morning, right around two AM in fact, the telephone rang at the Cosgriff household. Grandma struggled out of bed to answer it. "Hey, just calling to tell you I'm in California and I'm fine," Joe's gruff voice told her from the other end of the line. "Well, I'm glad you're okay, Joe, but you didn't need to call me at two o'clock in the morning to tell me th...

Several years back a good friend of mine, I'll call him Cloyce just to give him a name, was helping his wife with a weekend yard sale. All was going well until a woman began to study a punch bowl which was out for consideration. Mrs. Cloyce had put a ten dollar price tag on it. The prospective buyer held the bowl up this way and that and asked a question or two, but eventually decided against the purchase. "I don't know why she didn't buy it," Mrs. Cloyce opined. "Ten dollars is a fair price."  Cloyce responded, "Well, she wanted ten bucks more than she wanted the punch bowl, and you want ten bucks more than you want it. Seems to me you're both thinking the same way." If it had been full of punch I'm sure it would have been dumped on poor Cloyce. Some things are better left unsaid.

If Biden is unable to head a party ticket, and he isn't and we all know the reason why, then by that same reasoning he should not be President. Yet he is, at least at this writing. Why? Simple. If Vice President Kamala Harris takes office before November the Democrats lose an important campaign slogan. We would not be electing the first female minority to the White House. It would already be done. The Democrats are gaming the system. It's as simple as that. They want to have and eat their cake. It's nothing new. They've hid frail and infirm Presidents before (Wilson and FDR, if you care to know) so I'm not shocked by that. And the Harris candidacy fits in with 'right side of history' rhetoric. It's how they roll. I for one will not be gamed. I hope you won't either. 

Back in 1973 the country singer Charlie Rich had a hit single with 'The Most Beautiful Girl in the World'. At one point he laments, "Did you happen to see the most beautiful girl, who walked out on me?" I don't know how to answer that question. I mean, how many girls walked out on you, Charlie? If there was only one, then she's it. If there were two or three, I'd need to see them. If there were many, we have a lot of difficult analysis ahead of us. I just don't know what to say.

With a special price of $22 for the first year (normally $63) I bought a subscription to the mostly monthly (there are two double issues over 12 months) of First Things. The periodical offers articles about, well, first things, the first principles which are the start of reason.  It's good. It's very good. Of course I had known that, having read the occasional issue over the years. But having a new one each month (mostly); wow. Just wow. I have not been this intellectually stimulated since my first philosophy classes with dear old Dr. Grassi back at the University of Detroit forty years ago. It can be difficult at times, and I often must reread and reread again certain points to understand what the author of a given piece is saying. But when I get it, wow.  Aristotle said it best: the greatest happiness comes from contemplation of the greatest things. And the greatest things are encapsulated in First Things. I will gladly re-up at full price next year.

Bob Newhart, perhaps my favorite individual comedian (as opposed to comedy groups) passed away yesterday at 94. As me son Charlie remarked, some people just seem to always be around, so much so that you're shocked when they leave even though you know intellectually that, like us all, they'll be gone some day.  Newhart was that guy for me. From the early 1960s with  The Grace L Ferguson Airline and Storm Door Company  (which is eerily interesting lately) to a Chicago psychologist to a Vermont inn owner, his understated humor and fish out of water demeanor always struck a chord with me. I even have a soft spot for  George and Leo , a late Nineties sitcom (with him, Judd Hirsch and Jason Bateman) which had promise but I don't think was given a fair chance. Bateman, as Newhart's son, could play his TV dad's stammer quite well. The Bob Newhart Show or Newhart for his best series? I lean towards the latter, yet both were excellent. Part of his comic timing and personal hu...

Unions are another area where I can't find myself to answer whether I am for or against them. The best answer to "Are Unions Good?" really is, "Why and under what circumstances?" Can they be good, even necessary? Yes, of course. Can they be counterproductive? Yes they can. That's why I can't say that I'm particularly pro-union in the same way that I can't say flat out claim that I'm for peace or education or tolerance. I need to know what's going on in a particular case to know if a union is a good fit for those circumstances. I've known family and friends who needed to organize due to poor treatment; it fit their bill. And I've known people who have been harmed by union affiliation: it can promote an unfair sameness when it comes to pay, for example. At least three folks I know couldn't get raises which management told them they deserved and wanted to give them but their union wouldn't allow it. So union protection isn...

Me Mom and me Pops were out on a road trip one day. They found a nice little diner in a tiny little town and decided to have breakfast. Mom for some reason asked for decaf coffee. Pops wanted the full strength stuff. About half way through their meal the waitress came around with a coffee pot, as waitresses often will. But all she had with her was a pot of decaf. "You had decaf, right, honey?" she asked Mom. When mom nodded yes, she got her mug filled. Turning to look at me Pops the waitress said, "But you had regular coffee?" "That's right," Dad confirmed. The waitress stared at him for a moment, then responded, "Well, it won't kill ya," and filled his cup with decaf.  Small town diners. Even Pop got a laugh at that. 

My Detroit Tigers beat the Los Angeles Dodgers yesterday, 11 - 9. Hooray. They're playing well lately and I hope it continues.  What I hope does not continue is the overuse of pitchers. The teams combined employed 13 arms yesterday in a 10 inning game. It's made worse when you consider that each side's starter went five innings. That means it took 11 guys to pitch the other 5 frames. That's stupid. Surely 8 hitters weren't injured? No; the numbers just say all those arms were needed. And now, for today's game, I bet each manager will lament that their respective bullpens are tired because of it. I'm at the point that I'm willing to, by rule, limit the number of pitchers used every game. Four per nine innings out to be enough. Even that's at least one, and maybe two, too many. But it might limit the insanity. Oh well. At least the right guys won.

I tend to shy away from overtly political posts these days. They're simply not fun. Yet that won't keep me from occasionally wandering into the morass. The debacle with President Biden really grinds my gears. His cognitive issues did not happen overnight; there were signs of them during the 2020 election cycle, quite frankly. There have been signs of them throughout his entire Presidency, and the slow declines of aging rarely happen overnight. Yet Democrats are today somehow shocked over the question, and indeed act as though Biden's troubles only just began. To the likes of George Clooney, the President was fine three months ago. But now he needs to step aside? You didn't care about his cognitive powers for four years. You assured us within recent memory that the President was all right. Then comes the debate and, oh my God, he's losing it, he has to step aside! I tell you who's losing it: you, Democrats. You want power so bad that you tolerate and encourage an...

My Shop Keurig died suddenly Wednesday. It couldn't have been from overuse, could it? As I can indeed be taught, I spent a few minutes Thursday morning trolling Amazon to see what replacements might cost. That website gave me the same price I was finding on the websites of the brick and mortar stores around Detroit, and promised me free delivery between 2 and 6 yesterday afternoon. Identical pricing and free delivery that very day? It's tough to pass. Yet pass I did. I had running around for work to do, and thought I might see what I could find while out and about. And indeed I stumbled upon a single serve Keurig for ten bucks lower than the Amazon price. I bought it. Serendipity. Still, the idea that I could get delivery six hours or so later for what would have been an order at 9 in the morning impressed me. Yet it was also nice to save ten dollars through simply refusing to break old habits.  Is there a lesson here? I don't know. I'm just filling blog space.

A buddy of mine, I'll call him Cloyce just to give him a name, is the grandfather of two year old twins. Now I've never seen the toddlers, but in recent conversation I asked how they were doing. "Fine, just great. Mrs. Cloyce and I baby sit them all the time." "Cool. Is it hard to tell them apart?" Cloyce grinned. "Not at all. One's a boy and one's a girl." It didn't occur to me they might be paternal twins. Cloyce got a laugh out of it though.  

Yesterday I was heading home from Hessel, in Michigan's Glorious Upper Peninsula. I was intending to come home Monday but consciously took an extra day because, why not? There was nothing all that pressing and I had no appointments. Indeed Monday itself was a profitable business day even though I was out of town. I took several calls, one of which was for a very significant machine and cable order (enough to pay for my long weekend and then some in fact) which the customer requested a delivery of the next Tuesday, something I could accommodate quite readily. So I didn't need to be home to work. Work found me, for which in this case I was quite grateful. Still, the daily bread must be baked. I rose this morning, opened the old barn around 6:30 and set to work, in part to take care of a few things I couldn't do yesterday because I had played hooky. Hey, I'm a responsible adult. Sometimes. The Shop lights flickered once, at about 7:15, yet stayed on. Not so a few minutes l...

For the record, the first word in the headline above is a pun of sorts. Things can 'barrel down' on us, just like Hurricane Beryl is barreling down on Detroit. The Local Beryl Tracker on my weather app assures me of this. Look, we're not going to have anything like a hurricane in the D. That's simply nonsense. Yes, we'll have heavy rain (maybe; I do not, as you know, have much faith in the weather prognosticators) this Wednesday as the remnants (if that's what they really are) of what was Hurricane Beryl move through the area. But to in any way, shape, or form identify that as in any way, shape, or form part of a hurricane is hyperbole. Overwrought non-news. The steady winds are expected to be nine miles per hour when the rain drops hit us. Oh, but the gusts will be up to twelve. Horrors. Git into the cellar, Maw, right quick. I expect the store shelves will be decimated after the rush to stock up Tuesday.  Just more over hype in an overhyped world I guess.

Yesterday my family and I spent the day on Mackinac Island. For all of its attractions, you know the one thing it could use? A Dollar General. No, no, no, I didn't actually think that. Well, all right, I did, but as a joke for use today. There is a Starbucks on the main drag of the island though. That does, in my opinion, take away from the charm of what is sold as a place of old time magic. There are for those who don't know no cars on Mackinac. Everything is horse drawn. It would indeed be quaint but for the summer crowds. And crowded it was. Yet what should be expected the weekend after Independence Day? It didn't keep us from buying the fudge which Mackinac Island is also famous for. They try to push salt water taffy with it; where did that idea come from? It's hundreds of miles from the cold Atlantic. A good day though, ending with Mass at historic St. Anne's church. I've had worse.

Travelling up Michigan State Route 129 in the glorious Upper Peninsula, I saw that the town of Pickford had a brand spanking new Dollar General. I thought, I have to go in there. I wonder if it's as nice as the one in Detour? That's a nice Dollar General, the one in Detour. And that's what my life has become. Excitement about comparing one DG to another. Yet I don't really care. They've got good stuff at good prices at Dollar General. So I don't care.  If I say it enough, I'll believe it too.

We're still a great nation which has done great things. While we have our flaws, and who isn't flawed, we exist as a beacon of hope for many. And we are certainly not nearly as bad as even too many Americans seem to think. But hubris, like all error, is endemic to the human condition. So I'll grill today and then go see fireworks tonight, and be thankful for the blessings of being an American. God Bless the USA. Happy Independence Day everyone.

A few weeks ago while in Heath, Ohio, the place of 'my' Rural King store (at least according to their website) I bought some pocketed tees which were on sale. I chose a gray one, a dark green one, and a royal blue tee. Oh, and a day glo lime green shirt.  At the time, I bought that last one because I thought it looked cool. Now, I'm thinking I made a mistake. The fit is all right, and I do like that it's wicking. But it may find its life carried on in the local Salvation Army resale shop just the same, because, with my body shape, I look like a phosphorescent tomato when I wear the dang thing.

Today is our actual Independence Day, though few realize it. The Second Continental Congress passed the resolution for Independence on July 2,1776; it's attached to the end of the Declaration. It's known as the Lee Resolution, introduced to Congress by Richard Henry Lee of Virginia, and reads:  Resolved, That these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be, free and independent States, that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain is, and ought to be, totally dissolved. It has a ringing quality all it's own, don't you think? When John Adams wrote of the 'fireworks, pomp and parade' which he foresaw as future celebrations of our independence, he presumed they would occur on future July 2nds. Yet the Declaration of Thomas Jefferson took hold, and precedence deemed that July 4th should forever be the anniversary of American Independence. There is today's history...

We hear a lot about hoarders. Most of them seem to keep everything. Yet there are perhaps what I'll call limited hoarders. An old friend of mine, I'll call him Cloyce just to give him a name, might fit that bill. Cloyce would change the oil in his cars himself. Fair enough; lots of folks do that. In his case, it was two vehicles; his and Mrs. Cloyce. That was it. And they didn't drive much. They might make 5,000 miles a year on each car, but that was about it. One evening Cloyce asked me over to help with something, and we trounced down into his basement. You would have thought I was in the motor fluids section of an auto parts store, judging by the amount of oil and filters and anti-freeze, brake and power steering and transmission fluid which lined the shelves in a back room. If I had to guess I'd say there were about 50 cases of motor oil alone. "Why do you have so much oil and stuff, Cloyce?" I asked, actually somewhat in awe. "I maintain our cars,...